Roy Hodgson may be giving some newer faces a go as England play their final World Cup match, but would he have done better with this team of pun-tastic theatrical football stars (see our image below)?
Who better in goal than a leading man who would undoubtedly catch the ball like he catches the eye, Michael Save-ier? He’s already proved himself a safe pair of hands hosting at 2013’s West End LIVE and the Olivier Awards Covent Garden Piazza event. He’s a man for the big stage.
On the right side of defence an award-winning combination at the top of their game, Zonal-Mark Rylance and Lesley Man(marking)ville. The always reliable Anthony Head-er lends support in the middle. Sean Fouley can direct the defence from left-back, though there’s always a chance with him in charge their defending could be described as comical.
A superstar midfield talked about in mythical terms usually only found in Tolkien novels combines the world renowned creative talents of Benedict Cumbermatch and Pitchard Armitage, ensuring every match is filled with drama. Cumbermatch has brilliant chemistry with Martin Free(kick)man on his right. The nippy winger is famed for being one of the friendliest players in the game, though rumour has it this summer he’ll reveal a nasty side to the world. The elder statesman of the team, Michael Ball, works his magic down the left. There are no empty chairs or empty tables in the football-showing pubs when he’s playing.
Up top, a man with more creative flair than he knows what to do with, the constant West End winner with the flowing locks of a South American football superstar, Rupert Goal-d. He’s teamed with a player who despite her youth has a growing reputation and a following that is second to none, Carrie(d off the pitch) Hope Fletcher.
Who better to preside over such a team than a man who has been there and done it all before, the award-winning all-rounder Henry Goodman(ager).